1.英语笑话小短文 篇一
Don't Be SelfishA mother is admonishing her son.
—Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.
—But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.
2.英语笑话小短文 篇二
Sam is a little fish. He lives in the sea. He is very lonely. He wants to have a friend. The friend looks like him.Sam sees an ink fish. The ink fish has eight legs. He doesn't look like Sam. So Sam goes away. Sam meets a shark. He wants to say hello to the shark. The shark opens his big mouth. Sam runs away quickly.
Sam is tired and hungry. He wants to have a rest. Then he sees a round fish. She says to him. “Hello! Would you like to be my friend?”
Sam answers: “Of course! But you are round. I am flat.” The round fish says: “But we are both fishes.
Sam thinks and says, ”You are right. Let's be friends.“ They become good friends.
塞姆是一条小鱼，他在海里。他生在海里。他很孤独，想要找一个朋友，那个朋友看起来要像他。
塞姆看见一条墨鱼。墨鱼有8条腿，看上去不像塞姆。因此塞姆游走了。塞姆遇见一条鲨鱼。他想跟鲨鱼问好。鲨鱼张开大嘴，塞姆又迅速地逃走了。
塞姆又累又饿，他要休息一会儿。这时他看见一条圆鱼，圆鱼对他说：“你好!你愿意做我的朋友吗?”
塞姆回答：“好哇!可你是圆形的，我是扁的。”圆鱼说：“但是我们俩都是鱼啊!”
塞姆思考后说：“你讲得对，让我们做朋友吧。”他们就成为好朋友了。
3.英语笑话小短文 篇三
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
4.英语笑话小短文 篇四
More Intelligent in Dreams梦中更聪明
When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?"
一名学生在班上没有做出老师的教学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说：“我记得昨天夜里做梦对这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起来了。这说明什么？”
"It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained.
“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明。”老师解释说。
5.英语笑话小短文 篇五
You may put my beard on again把胡子再替我装上
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面，理发师向他买了一把扫帚，当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱。
"Two pence," said the man.
卖扫帚的人说：“两便士。”
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
"不，不。"理发师说，“我只出一便士，如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去。”
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱。
"A penny." said the barber.
理发师说："一便士。"
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
卖扫帚的人说："我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上。"
6.英语笑话小短文 篇六
In a cinema, a lady turned round and said to the giggling schoolgirls behind her: "Do you mind, I'm trying to watch the film."剧院里，一位女士回头对后面正在说笑的一群女学生说：“如果你们不介意的话，我想看这场电影。”
"In that case," said one of them, "you're facing the wrong way."
“要是那样的话，”其中一个女孩子说，“那您肯定是看错方向了。”
7.英语笑话小短文 篇七
Little Roy puts on his new trousers and goes to see his aunt . His cousins are all very happy to see him .They take out all the toys and play together .The boy enjoys a very good day there .On his way back home , Roy slips and falls into the mud . His new trousers get very dirty.
When he gets home , his mother is very angry to see his dirty trousers and says :”Oh,what a mess! You got your new trousers so dirty.”
“I’m sorry ,mom,” Roy says , “But I had no time to take them off when I fell down .”
8.英语笑话小短文 篇八
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returnedand said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all." 晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”
9.英语笑话小短文 篇九
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校——慢行。
10.英语笑话小短文 篇十
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle. I pray for a new toy." 两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。我祈求有一个新玩具。”
His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。”
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
弟弟回答说：“是的，但是奶奶听不到呀！”
11.英语笑话小短文 篇十一
I love jokes. I could listen to people telling jokes all day. I laugh at even the silliest of jokes. In fact, I love silly jokes. I still laugh at the jokes I laughed at when I was a child. I’m not so good at telling jokes（讲笑话）. I have just a few of my favourite ones that I tell. They’re pretty funny. I think telling jokes is a real skill. You need confidence（自信）, timing and you need to know when to deliver（说） the punch line（画龙点睛之语）. Some of my jokes don’t work with people from other countries. They don’t get them. It’s also interesting to see how American and British jokes are different. I listen to American comedians（喜剧演员） but can’t see what’s funny. I also love practical jokes. Playing jokes on other people is very funny – as long as they see the funny side.12.英语笑话小短文 篇十二
The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。
妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
13.英语笑话小短文 篇十三
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。
14.英语笑话小短文 篇十四
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
15.英语笑话小短文 篇十五
Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
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